I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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