SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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