My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
is wine microwaveable?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
