you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Alive.
So much puke
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
