Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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