if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Randomize
