So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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