My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
