in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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