I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
