omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I have feelings that need drinking.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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