Don't you send me to vm
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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