Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
