i just wanna soil my oats bro
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
