I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
