Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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