Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Me too!
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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