You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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