You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I am available for nakedness
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
