1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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