i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
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