At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
