my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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