he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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