i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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