Already got asked if we're dating
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
