Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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