Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
