5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
