the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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