anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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