he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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