Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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