no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize