do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm jealous of your bromance
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My legs feel like baby dolphins
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
