you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize