You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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