The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
