thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
a search helicopter?!
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
