That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
