I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
