3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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