I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
