Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
