I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
