Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
