Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
the liver wants what the liver wants
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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