Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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