I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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