Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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