he thought i was a dude.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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