Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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