that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
