Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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