yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
