remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
