I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
