i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
