Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Randomize
