I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
This house was built for laser tag.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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