I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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