Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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