I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
wow bdsm is so cute
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