You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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