WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
