Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
