Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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